You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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