eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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