when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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