Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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