the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
