The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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