she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
