im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
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