there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
