Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
