he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
