Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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