You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i can't believe i had my finger in that
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
