I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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