Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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