Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
