Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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