Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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