3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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