you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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