from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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