we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
