I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
