My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
