why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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