I will die if light touches me.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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