You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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