Already got asked if we're dating
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
