Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
