12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
