Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
