Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
