At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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