the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
