the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
