i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We talked him into tasing himself.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My vagina just clenched in fear
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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