I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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