Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
