....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm bleeding and have questions
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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