that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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