I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
