I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
