Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
