i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
