hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She's the barista slut.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
