do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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