K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize