Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
