I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Randomize
