is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
