oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
