what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
