More tranny stories later!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My liver just had a heart attack.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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