You work out of a Hotel?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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