im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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