i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
