I am in a vortex of obligation.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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