Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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