i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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