we have officially lost it.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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