just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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